I am an artist. Who would believe this? I don’t think anyone would. That is because I can’t paint. I can’t sketch. I can’t draw period. I can dream. I can write a bit. I can talk. Now you will definitely be justified to question: “How are these aspects pertaining to an artist?”
I guess I have no argument. No defences. Maybe: just a desire? And all I can repeat and say that I think I am an artist or – I am an artist.
I know we are back to square one. I know this is an endless cycle and doesn’t have any value in repetition as it does not sort out the paradigm I had injected. It doesn’t leave room for any thought flux – any exploration – but I still felt like saying it.
This might be entitled as a foolish process. An individual’s methodology to escape the considered common or the considered canon by comprising with reality and living in the delirious state of hypersensitivity and hyperreality: only to exceed in the process of doing such superseding tasks. I know this not make sense. Hell – it might only make sense to the puppet.
The puppet, in case you didn’t notice, would be the speaker – in this case “I” as in infinity in the nutshell of a universe that has “I”’s in the mortal fluxes of immortality-pseudo-realities. If that didn’t make much sense don’t blame me. You are not thinking hard enough. Also, we have somewhat digressed but put it plainly you were doubting my ability to be coherent but now you are listening to me. Insanity does have some literacy be it political or psychological or otherwiseical. No I’m not making fun of you but rather illustrating the fact of today’s public and privates. We are stimulated by the ardent orchestration of the bizarre. It might be a postmodern thing, modernist thing, feminist, masculinist thing, humanist thing, psycheist thing or the ist of ist thing but don’t worry this digression has some roots to the philosophy of me being mad thus it is rooted to the main topic – yes, it resemble plant like roots and everything has interconnectivity – so, yes, where were we – yes you are fascinating by my ingenious idiotism but don’t worry it’s only natural to admire and laugh at fools – they even come up in the Taro deck!
Now you might think I am acting like an ass which is usually regarded higher in standard than the fool but then again I must say that is an accomplishment in itself so thanks for such an opportunity. No – wait – don’t give me a tiresome speech of madness because we had gone through that and you and I both agreed that I had insanity coursing through my veins and brains (though in actually like double monitors and keyboards I think this means two hemispheres than the 2x because that would be too simplistic and bizarre, though we revel in bizarreness I mean there are limitations to the dosages of what drug is your fix, now let’s take care to remember the 2x rule – no, no, no no imposition here I just want to get matters straight to a reasoning that would benefit us both so yes no commands here though the I think I would love to assume being an ideologue for the dominatrix/dominator but let’s forget that for now – ok do not worry safe sex is the best option when considering excess kinkiness and let’s not digress but then again I was the one saying we are not digressing so I think I am being foolish right now speaking otherwiseist like but that’s ok ‘cause I am human too and can be seduced by all things others can be seduced by and such and…ok this is not total digression nor else I wouldn’t be speaking it but then again who knows?) But that is the apprehension. I know this so – am I doing a known evil. I cannot say. I cannot say though I know it annoys you. But truthfully maybe I haven’t thought about it much – ok ok I know you are pissed now but seriously I know I know I am contradicting myself so yes I know I’m pissing you off but then again why wouldn’t I be pissing you off? Ok no, those were not my initial intentions but I haven’t got to piss off people much so it is actually fun pissing you off but then again this pissing off is a digression-dead-root not healthy nutritional so I’ll let it snap off like some dead root (plants may do this) but then again this is no nihilist interest it is just there. Ok now let us go back to where we started. Yes Yes I remember where we left off so it’s no biggie that I digressed. Because Digressions are the gig-lamps of life.
Theoretically anyway. Many might argue this approach I have but then again 0.5% or 0.2% would not. No, no this is not nihilistic as in in the process of the gig-lamps of life is surely not my own coined term, let’s think of Woolf and then continue – if she was nihilistic then her words are not my own and of the 0.5% and 0.2% some may actually ingrain this though as a nihilistic paradigm I say “Not my fault – that’s their drug to devour and not my own”: I thought I should clarify some of these things so don’t look so crossed at me. You can’t deny if I didn’t have these clarifications could not been done then we wouldn’t have had any proper understanding.
Now. As I said only 0.5% and 0.2% would actually think of the gig-lamps-is-digression theory. Distractions compose like. How? Well you might even think of this conversation as one – no I’m not saying you are not a focused individual because this is a wrong philosophy to think that distractions and digressions sans focus because if we look closer a mechanic’s tea-time may need focus too a> The mechanic may still be thinking about work or home or love or any other issues at hand and b> The mechanic savouring the tea is indirect compliment to God and the human who was the medium that help to make leave, water and sugar and maybe milk into this good old beverage that we love. You see I spoke of God – and you can think of Her as a Unity or Him as a Trinity or whatever you may like those are the personals which I don’t feel like preaching. But you see, going to a topic we started, distractions do make much of life a> You must educate yourself b> You must have sex c> You must be promiscuous d> You must stay monogamous e> You must have a life philosophy f> You must get a good job that makes loads of cash: well I am not saying those are not important but the 0.5% and 0.2% know that they might eventually become distractions. Why you may ask? It’s simple in the sense that we might lack the astronaut’s mind later on in life. I mean – let’s give it another dashing name – I mean curionaut – do you ever explore things that the threshold of popularity never beckoned? I’m not telling to go cannibal like Tooms or Lectar but have you done the daring? This does not equate always to sky-diving and monster trucks but in the sense of learning for the love of curiosities and knowledge.
This may come as self-perspectives and self-analysis and usually this process is autodidactical. I mean I’m not saying you will have a mentor but you might not be resistant to the fact that pilgrimages of such proportions also require your self’s cooperation nor else those beans won’t make a beanstalk. But that’s the thing. The mirror is not only narcissism or mutilation or ego formation (as Lacan might suggest) but it is a nexus of too many articles and such is the womb for much contemplation. You can devour your image and create the infamous/famous alter ego or even delve the finger and stone closer to the goblet of a wisdom that sought you since birth. Gradually the art may reveal itself to you and maybe yourself is under those reflective silky draperies of cut and flats.
Now look you are looking at me. Disappointed? Don’t be. I might have introduced to you something interesting after all haven’t I – so, will you doubt it now – can you not say I am an artist?